Buh Bye, OKCupid.
Oh OKCupid, how I love/hate you. You, with all of your fine men with quippy profiles that draw me in, but with your ability to have people browse my profile anonymously that leaves me constantly paranoid that people in my circle of concern now know what I'm up to in my spare time.
I messaged the four aforementioned guys with my personal email address, a couple of them (#1 and #2 from my last post) with my phone number, and jumped ship two nights ago. I guess I had just reached that point of total saturation where I just start feeling guilty for not being able to return everyone's messages to me.
A txt came in from... oooh, I guess this is where I get to choose his blog name... MrTall? Oooh, I know, he was a park ranger for awhile, so I'll call him Ranger. I like that. So where was I? Oh yes. A txt came in from Ranger, and within a few short hours we were back and forth like wildfire. Very unprofessional, but I don't abuse my position of authority much, and it was hard to feel very guilty with a massive grin plastered across my face. Our emails were amping up as well; the amount of time and care that he put into them blew my mind. Conscientious, educated, intelligent and open, it was obvious that he had a huge heart and a wit that kept him from being a sap. We fleshed out our lives for each other; our routines and people of importance (his wife of 18 years and lover of five months, two children, his family). Like me, he grew up close to the land, connected with the earth and animals. Like me he thinks about this world in a deeper way than many folks I come across, and devotes a lot of time to being a solid human being in all ways.
We decided to meet on Saturday. I had a business appointment later in the day, and made plans to meet him for an early lunch. Plans shifted when my appointment got moved up to the end of the month, and his little ones were invited to a birthday party, but it was seamless in our willingness to be absolutely flexible and open to any possibility.
Yesterday morning we expressed how keyed up we both were about meeting up, deciding to find a place with a patio to soak up the first real weekend of Spring sunshine in our neck of the woods. I dressed with care, Elemental egging me on by selecting stay up thigh high sheer stockings to go under my summer dress, a high waisted, thick brown belt and matching boots, looking every part a feminine and pretty woman. Elemental hung out with me as I did my makeup and hair, teasing me and encouraging me all at the same time; what an amazing husband I have in him.
We talked about boundaries - Elemental wanting to keep any/all challenges in our relationship as a private thing, and no sex for the first date - kissing a-okay though. I was a ball of nerves, txting Sync about my fears "What if he smells like raw chicken, has bad breath, or I accidentally kiss his eyeball?" She put me at ease with her sweet replies, wishing me luck as I gathered up water for the day, cords to charge my various devices, a change of footwear in case we decided to go for a long walk (heels put me at 5'8" to his 6'1", but without them, I'm only 5'5 3/4" - shorty!) Finally I tumbled into the car, a little giddy with excitement, fired up my ipod and had Caribou croon me down the freeway towards the city.
Arriving in town, I checked my gps, and sussed out his hood - I was to meet him at his house, and turn my keys over (my idea, I hate driving with new people when I'm nervous) and we were to head out for lunch. He was expecting me, and answered the door, and all of my fears about our chemistry only existing on line promptly disappeared. Tall, slim, fit, with dark blonde hair and piercing ice blue eyes he was the very picture of refined masculinity. Freckle dappled arms, long lean limbs, and nice style he wore jeans and a summery button up shirt, white with wide green checks, and shoes that obviously were bought from an independent store - funky and comfortable. Thoughtfully he asked if I might like to use the restroom before we headed out, and relieved I said yes. It gave me a private moment to grin at myself silently in the mirror for my uncanny good luck, and to suss out the fact that he had all organic/natural bathroom products (I find things like this hot - means you're thinking about Gaia even when you're brushing your teeth - yum!)
I had hugged him on the stairs and was met with a solid wall of muscle - boy obviously looks after himself. We fell into a natural cadence as we headed to the car, non-awkward conversation a'flowin' as we buckled in and he got his bearings in my vehicle. He navigated us through town, his ipod plugged in with a perfect sunny afternoon mix, and we arrived at one of the few patio spots that I had suggested. We sat at the window bar side by side and it was like we had known each other for years; that easy flow of conversation, and getting into the meat of our hearts and lives without batting an eye. We were seated in the warm sun, ordering off of a simple and goodlooking menu, me with an espresso and him with an americano - both black. We drank water and talked, and as we talked, my heart melded into his.
Integrity. Honesty. Openness. Compassion. Total devotion to all things that he loves. Consciousness. Self-Evolution. An ability to see his own fears, mistakes and areas that he needs to grow. A commitment to the environment, his family, his community, a solid bond with family. No homophobia, no sexism, no racism, no fear of those that are different or alienated in any way. The conscious way that he raises his children. How respectful he was in all ways - in talking to me about his wife, his desire for me, his love for his lover. Unbelievable. A relatively squeaky clean man in a dirty world; my ideal, in that he harbours neither cynicism or that common mix of entitlement and lack of gratitude and respect that I see in so many white North American males. He rarely if ever even participates in porn. Le fuck. Smitten from the word go - smitten before I even met him in a lot of ways, but the physicality brought it down from my mind into my body. When I went to the bathroom I was shocked to find my body answering in a physical way to our conversations - wet and swollen. Le fuck indeed.
Last edited by BaggagePatrol; 05-13-2012 at 08:08 PM.