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Old 05-13-2012, 03:26 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,573
Default The Now Enter Dude

MrS and Dude had been acquaintances then friends then closer friends for a couple years before I was introduced to Dude. (This is not an unusual pattern for MrS and I – I work long hours and am on call quite often and not very social to begin with, so MrS ends up going out, meeting people, and visiting with our friends much more than I do – a fiance of one of our friends upon meeting me for the first time remarked “So you DO exist!” having known MrS for a year or two and beginning to believe that I was a figment of his imagination .)

MrS and Dude met as they share the same avocation, which tended to put them in the same place at the same time for quite a while. They subsequently found that they had multiple other interests in common, and began hanging out to pursue these interests as well. MrS would meet up with Dude, they would hang out and do stuff. Occasionally MrS would crash at Dude's place if they had been drinking. (I like to be informed if MrS is not coming home at night so I don't panic if I wake up in the morning and he is not home – our usual pattern is that he calls or texts me around 11 pm to tell me to go to bed, let me know where he is, and whether he is coming home or crashing elsewhere.) Dude, at this point has not been over to our house other that to drop MrS off (MrS knows I don't like “strangers” in my space) and I have never even seen him.

Dude's situation: He had moved back to our area to take care of his grandmother. He was, at the time, involved with a woman he had been in a LTR/LDR relationship with for 3-4 years. At times they had lived together, at times he was on the road a lot for work. During the time when MrS and Dude were developing their friendship Dude's girlfriend (let's call her Flack) was living many states away. When I met Dude for the first time (this would be springtime 2 years ago) he was planning to go stay with her for some extended but undefined period of time (a month? 4-6 weeks? More?) and was looking for someone to adopt/take care of his snake (her living situation not being amenable to taking the snake with him). MrS suspected correctly that I would be interested and took me to Dude's house to meet Dude and said snake.

So, I put on a sexy little shirt and my most flattering jeans and go off to meet Dude and snake. (I feel more confident meeting new people if I feel sexy, and, if Dude and MrS are close friends then I want him to like me too .) We all hang out, drink good beer (we are all beer snobs), play with the snake and have a great time. MrS and I come home with the snake and a few days later Dude heads out of state to see Flack. Dude and I exchange a few snake related e-mails but otherwise we don't hear from him much while he is gone.

Summertime rolls around and Dude is back in town, having broken up with Flack while he was out of state. MrS and Dude continue to do their thing and Dude starts hanging out at our house more, sometimes crashing in the guest room if they are up late or drinking. I do my own thing or hang out with them watching movies or TV. Dude joins an on-line dating site, starts meeting up with a few women. I'm my usual flirty cuddly self . Everyone is comfortable. All is good.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 05-13-2012 at 03:28 PM.
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