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Old 05-13-2012, 07:21 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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I had the most awesome week of dates and lovin'. Made me very happy and feel complete and in my groove again. The date I had on Thursday went swimmingly. I thought the guy was amazing and we were so compatible. He and I talked for hours over a plate of nachos that we barely touched. He is so on the same wavelength to me about communication, dating outside of his marriage, finding like minded people and creating family. He was so interested in my burlesque and listened while I told him all the ins and outs. He had wanted to come to my show last week but thought it might be rude to show up without my knowing and premature to ask without having met first. He was fit/active, warm, friendly, positive, spoke lovingly about everyone in his life, was dressed nicely, smelled good, showed emotion and vulnerability yet was confident and secure in himself and had a balanced life in all areas. I can see that he has potential to be someone in my life. I found him very attractive on so many levels.

Trouble is the time thing.... ya know? Ya, sucks. We are meeting again in two weeks, but he already wants to meet this week for lunch. I would meet him as much as possible if I could, but time does not allow. I am spending time with my friend too and of course my loves. There is just not enough me to go around. There is enough love, but not time.

This past weekend I had a singing gig and my new friend went along to see me. My parents went also and after there was a awkward moment of who would drive me home. My mum decided that he should, eventually, but was concerned that I might not be okay. She doesn't know him well. I was more than okay. I was taken out for drinks and we had a long chat about where things are going. I am very fond of this man and could easily see myself involved with him more. I just don't think that it will go that way. I see him involved with someone that can spend time with him and be there for him more. I will be very protective when some one comes along though, I don't deny that. I don't see that happening soon as things with his ex are still being processed and he needs a good long time to heal and re-focus his life on being his own primary.Who knows, maybe then things will be more clear, but for now we show each other affection and keep having moments of time together that make us connected and glad to be in each others life.

Mono seems to be filled with compersion. I don't get it. I look at him sideways and wait for the other shoe to drop. Some how his view on things has totally changed since Leo and I broke up. He won't tell me why yet, but I am just enjoying his comfort.

My ex wife came over today. I haven't seen her since I went to Vegas with her. She is a breath of fresh air... she gave me a long massage for my achy back after the show last weekend where I got thrown around lots in a Mexican wrestling number and after my parents treacherous move of agony from their house to a condo... Then we gardened. LB helped us buy the plants and put them in pots, and we planned the veggies but didn't get them in the ground. While we planted the men, including my new friend, painted the deck. It felt good to be together doing things. After we washed up and went to dinner with LovingRadiance! So much fun. She's a really great lady and I liked her company immensely. She is leaving tomorrow already unfortunately.

After this next weekend I have a show in a neighboring city, a birthday weekend at my parents place on a neighboring island... and then I am filling the calender with dates and time to costume for a couple of months. And some me time! Oh, ya, and trying to get the camper van on the road so I can leave to have me time. Maybe spend some time at my parents place on the island for me time too. I will try to book some time to do these things alone... chances are someone will come along.
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