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Old 05-11-2012, 04:01 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545
Default swinging and poly

From what I have noticed....swingers are swingers for a variety of reasons. One is because they don't want the emotional drama that comes along with emotional relationships. Including NRE and jealousy. Sometimes they are just trying to protect the primary relationship (usually a marriage) by labeling themselves as swingers. The swinger identity seems to say "we're not looking for a lot of emotional turmoil".

Now- because we are human, after a while, purely sexual connections eventually can seem flat. So- there are a LOT of swingers who are looking for "friends in and out of the bedroom". These swingers are in a grey area- they are not saying, we want to fall in love with you- but they do want more than just a sexual connection. AND- inevitably love happens sometimes despite the labels. Many swingers find themselves falling in love with their partners. At this point, they may or may not change their own label from swinger to poly.

On the other side- there are many poly people who have a deep desire for multiple loves and they are seeking it. In the process of dating, there can be lots of sexual encounters which do not end up in a loving connection. So they find themselves in the grey area also.

So- whether a person is labeling themselves as poly or swinger, they do engage in sexual activity with perspective partners. Those sexual connections that do not evolve into close loving intimate emotional relationships are the same for both.

In my opinion, the labels have very little effect on what actually happens in life.

A question for everyone engaged in this discussion.....Do you think poly people fall in love more and experience more love than swingers?
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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