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Old 05-11-2012, 02:58 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,661

I love this forum because someone always brings up something that we have recently been discussing or has become suddenly relevant in our lives!


I am a tremendous flirt. I flirt with everyone, all of the time. If I am interacting with you I am flirting with you. (And yet I am an INTJ...go figure! Apparently flirting fits into my comfort-zone of how to interact with people). For me flirting has very little to do with sexual attraction and more to do with opening up lines of communication. I flirt without regard to age, gender, sexual orientation or relationships status - with the notable exceptions of "single males" (with whom my flirting is WAY constrained if I get the feeling that they may take it "seriously" - a trait I apparently share with others) [For the record I DO wear my wedding band pretty much all of the time - I didn't realize that men actually note this - Dude says that he does religiously, MrS says that he never does - we think that this is because Dude is looking for potential partners and MrS is pretty much oblivious until a girl drags him off into the bushes for sex.]

My husband recently pointed out to me that the wives of our male friends may be view my flirtations with their husbands differently now that they see me as "actively poly" (because I have a husband and boyfriend who live with me ...whereas before? IDK - I was their slutty, flirty, married friend who happened to sleep with willing women-friends and flirt with everyone with a pulse?)

From my standpoint? Their husbands are still off-limits as potential partners (unless they, independently, choose to "open" their marriages), I still flirt with everyone I meet and am still open to "happy-fun-times" with girls that share my desires. Being with Dude did not change my fundamental personality and predilections any more than being with MrS did/does.


PS. Interesting side note, men don't seem to have nearly the problem with me flirting with their wives/girlfriends/significant others - with exactly ONE exception about 18 years ago (she was openly bi and their relationship was very new).
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 05-11-2012 at 03:21 AM.
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