Originally Posted by Tonberry
What if someone had only one partner at a time, but several during the year? Do you only care about "simultaneous" partners?
I use quotation marks because I assume you're not requiring group sex here, so for a majority of people the partners will still be one after another as far as sex go, and not at the same time.
EDIT: to clarify, I know what the answer to the poll would be, your first post is pretty exhaustive on that. I'm merely curious why you separate things like that rather than just hve numbers, starting at 0 and regardless of the situation.
At any rate, while both of us are poly, we didn't have other partners in the past years, so I'll answer accordingly.
If you had sex with A and then had sex with B, but then did not have sex with A again, and neither A nor B told you about concurrent sex with anyone else, let's call your relationships monogamous. If you had sex with A and then had sex with B, and then had sex with A again, but A did not know that you had sex with anyone else, let's also call your relationships monogamous, but not fidelitous. If either
you or your partner had sex with more than one person in the last year, and went back to a previous partner after sex with another, and
openly told that previous partner about the intervening sex with other people, let's call your relationship(s) non-monogamous. If you and your partner claim(ed) to have had sex only with each other, let's call your relationship monogamous.
I know I lurked on here for years before actually becoming non-monogamous, and that is why I separated out the monogamy. I didn't want the results to be confounded by people who had not yet taken the plunge. However, while I'd actually consider your partnership non-monogamous despite the lack of other partners in the last year, we have to have some definition of monogamy, so I guess you were monogamous in the last year.