Umm, I didn't know there was anything that said you had to "love equally". That whole concept sounds broken to me. I just fell in love with a new interest, and now am, for the first time in my life, romantically involved with two wonderful women. I've been married to one for 21+ years and I've known the other for about 4-5 years, well for only about 2 years. I don't love them equally, though the NRE I'm experiencing might make my wife feel like I love my new girlfriend more than her (she doesn't feel that way), I don't have to look deep to know that right now, there is absolutely no way it's possible for me to love/feel for someone with the depth of emotion my wife and I have built up over the time we've been together, raising 2 kids, dealing with all the experiences we've dealt with, good and bad. I love both, and given enough time, with the right sequence of events it's *possible* that I could love my new lover with the same depth as I currently love my wife, but that's so unlikely it doesn't even warrant consideration to me, especially since in the time that would take, my wife and I will have probably spent over 40 years together; twice the time I'd have been involved with my new love (assuming it lasts that long - hoping it does).
IOW - Just love, don't worry about loving "equally"...not even measurable/quantifiable, so what's the point?