This semester, there's this woman in one of my classes that caught my attention immediately. I'll call her... Leah. I was immediately attracted to her, but there was something else about her that I couldn't place. She's an extremely friendly and easy to talk to person. I'd talk to her occasionally, and sometimes answered questions about class work for her when the instructor was busy, and I found myself becoming more and more attracted to her. Yet still, there was something about her that I couldn't put my finger on.
A few weeks ago, I spontaneously remembered that I went to high school with her, and I had a bit of a crush on her then. Maybe "crush" is kind of strong. I'm not sure if I ever talked to her then, maybe I did once or twice. She caught my attention.
The next time I had class with her, I mentioned it to her. She doesn't remember me, which doesn't surprise me, and is probably a good thing. We ended up talking for an hour after class was over. And every class after that. Yesterday, I finally worked up the courage to ask her out. She smiled, but I could see disappointment in her eyes. I was worried she was about to say "I have a boyfriend and am monogamous," but then she said she'd love to if she can get someone to watch her kids. It took all of my willpower to remain calm and not start cheering and doing my happy dance. Actually, I don't have a happy dance... I'm sure I would have improvised one.
At 15, I thought, this girl will never be interested in me, not in a million years." It turns out it only took thirteen. I am pretty bad at math...
I'm happy about it, but I'm dreading the "I'm polyamorous" conversation. From what I know about her, I'm pretty sure she'll be willing to discuss it, and that it won't be too bad. Still, I really like her and I'm anxious.
This is one of the things I like about being in my late 20s. When I run into women that probably wouldn't have/turned me down in high school, things are different now. I've lost a hundred pounds since then, am much more confident, and am no longer intimidated by pretty girls. Leah has two kids, and recently divorced a man she describes as being "a douchebag." It's nice how priories can change over time. Also, while there are more important things, she's even more beautiful now than she was in high school.
However, there's one thing that bothers me: In all the talking we've done recently, I have not noticed a single thing about her that I don't like. This has never happened to me before, and I'm afraid I'm missing something. A few years ago, the "has kids" thing might have bothered me a little, but now I'm thinking it might be nice instead of making them myself. I mean, babies are a pain in the ass. Ah well, I'm sure I'll find something minor that I can overlook and then I'll calm down.