Originally Posted by nycindie
Well, obviously, you really would only have input about how it would affect your husband and you, how you and he would handle that responsibility, what precautions he takes, etc. But you would have no say about what choices his girlfriend makes about her body, or if she gets preggers. That would be totally up to her. As I see it, anyway.
She, of course, has absolute control over her body and her decisions. However, it takes sperm to get pregnant. If hubs and I are not comfortable with whatever pregnancy precautions she is willing to tolerate then HIS sperm can be taken out of the equation. i.e. no sex if no mutually acceptable conclusion is reached. She can't unilaterally "decide" to get pregnant by my husband if he doesn't agree to the possibility. She has control over her body, and he has control over his - and HE
takes my boundaries into consideration. If the "mutually acceptable conclusion" is that he gets a vasectomy, that is HIS
decision as to whether he is willing to comply in order to have sex with her. If she decides to get pregnant she can use someone else's sperm to do so (which leaves hubs, and therefore me, off the hook for child support).
This actually came into play with Dude and I. MrS and I came to the conclusion that Dude and I could have unprotected sex IF Dude was willing to forego paternity rights should a pregnancy occur. He was, it did (and unfortunately ended in miscarriage - more about that here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...967#post130967