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Old 11-29-2009, 02:16 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 900

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I'm not sure where you got that Mono is creating fictitious reasons? I know the man very well and have not come across that. He certainly has his own opinion of himself and how some mono people are, but I have never heard him say that he thinks all mono people are like he is. I talk to him in real life and we discuss these things readily. Sometimes what he thinks doesn't come across on here as it should as it is with all of us sometimes. Perhaps he has forgotten to say somewhere on here that HE thinks something or it's HIS opinion, but we all do that sometimes in our passion to get our thoughts across too.
Despite the fact that he acknowledges that not all mono people think the way he is, he continues to claim that it is his mono nature that is the thing that causes him to read a book differently or not be open to an idea is an awful big claim to be making. If he attributes those things to monogamy then it would follow that the same mechanisms are in place for everyone who is wired mono, even if the results aren't the same. The fact is, that's not the case. So if not everyone who is wired mono has the same differences that Mono claims it would then follow that it is something OTHER than the mono nature that causes such differences. To say that the mono nature is causing those differences is creating a fictitious divide between mono and poly people.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I'm wondering where you are going with all this and kind of wish you would get to some kind of point. If there is one. I am saying this with confusion, not judgment or anger or frustration even, just confusion....I am trying hard to understand your arguments with all this. Is it simply that you dislike Mono and what he says? Are you trying to challenge him to make him move forward on the path he is on? Are you in someway processing your own stuff in regards to all this?

Please tell us what it's all about?

I'll try to rephrase what I've already said:

This has nothing to do with Mono personally. I could go into all sorts of speculation as to why he would want to cling to this reasoning but it's beside the point and none of my business. This has to do with putting forward ideas that create divides and that have no substantiation whatsoever.

Again. Sure mono people and poly people have different natures. Mono people fall in love one at a time and poly people fall in love with more than one at a time. This does not mean that mono people are closed minded because of their mono nature or poly people are open minded because of their poly nature. There may be outside relationships between the two different natures, but each nature informs itself first. I know just as many closed minded poly people as I know open minded mono people. So it does not mean that a mono person will read a book differently *because* of their mono nature. Sure, Mono may read a book differently than another person, but a mono person is just as likely to read that book differently from another mono person as they are going to read the book differently from a poly person.

I do not deny that that differences exist, or even that some of those differences are hardwired. But people have a huge number of wired and conditioned natures that exist simultaneously within themselves. To attribute differences that have *nothing* to do with monogamy to a mono nature feels like a cop-out and a dangerous one at that, because it tacitly paves the way for all sorts of prejudice and discrimination.
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