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Old 05-09-2012, 01:01 AM
GreenMom GreenMom is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 103

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
What effect, if any, do you feel poly has on the sex life you have?Is there a comparison? Do you or your partner(s) fear comparison?Does gender/orientation/kinkiness of current and prospective partners affect these feelings or fears around comparisons in any way?
It's improved our sex life, definitely. Hubby sees how happy I am, which makes him happier. He likes hearing about what I do with my other partner, which adds some spice to our sex life. I don't think orientation/gender/etc affects how my husband feels at all, though it has helped us out that my boyfriend is submissive to me, which gives me an outlet for the dominant side I can't express with my husband.

Do you feel you have more or less sexual energy to go around when you have several people in your life you relate to sexually? Does this fluctuate?
What, if anything, is especially challenging when it comes to the amount of sexual energy and time for sex you have?
Is NRE a factor and if so, how does it influence your relationships?
I don't actually think my sexual energy changes much, aside from feeling it with more than one person. Challenges - well, I'm not able to have sexy fun with my boyfriend nearly as often as I'd like due to time constraints and such, which us both having other relationships, jobs, kids, etc. NRE is a factor insofar as yeah, I do have that shiny new want to pounce as often as possible feeling, but its tempered by reality.

[Do you think poly/nonmonogamy in general are good options for couples who don't have matching interests and/or desire levels?
What are the possible benefits/pitfalls you can see for having very different sex lives with different people?
What kind of boundaries do you feel need establishing around your sex life from the perspective of multiple people being involved?
I think that it can be. As I mentioned above, it has helped my marriage out insofar as now I'm a lot less frustrated since I have an outlet for my dominant side. Benefits/pitfalls - I'm not sure really - could get bad if you compare I suppose. The only boundries we have are related to safe sex.

How freaked out are you about STDs/pregnancies?
How comfortable are you with your sexuality and has poly/nonmonogamy has any effect on that?
Is there anything you would like to change about your sex life?
I'm not freaked out about STDs at all. Pregnancy, I admit sometimes I am concerned since I know no measure is absolutely safe, but I do what I can. I don't think that poly has made me any more or less comfortable with my sexuality, I was already pretty comfortable with who I am and what I enjoy. It's mainly given me an outlet to do some things my husband isn't in to. The only thing I'd like to change about my sex life is the frequency, but that's not likely to happen due to reality of life.
"This, too, is sacred."
I am my own primary.
Me: F, 30's, bi.
Sadist: my fwb. M, 30's.
Pandora: Sadist's gf. F, 30's.

Last edited by GreenMom; 05-09-2012 at 01:05 AM. Reason: missed a question
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