View Single Post
Old 05-08-2012, 11:39 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Nudger View Post
I think that she just needs to work through her feelings, and understand that she loses nothing by allowing me to have gf.
Well, in reality, she's not "allowing you" to have a girlfriend. You're both adults and make your own choices. You chose to have a girlfriend (ultimately that is true, even if you moved forward in small increments to get there), and your wife chose to stay with you. She could have chosen to leave. "Allowing" and "giving permission" sounds like a parent, not a spouse. You two are basically working out how to live with the choices each of you made. Maybe if she starts to think of it that way instead of looking at it as if she now has to put up with what she "allowed," it will feel more empowering for her.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 05-08-2012 at 11:42 PM.
Reply With Quote