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Old 05-08-2012, 11:03 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

I think when someone is questioning whether or not they're poly nycindie's Questions #1 and #5 are automatically involved. Generally something has happened where they or a partner want more than one romantic relationship, so that gets Question #1 going. And then Question #5 is looking at the "Am I someone that needs to be poly (or mono)? Or can I be happy either way and get to choose?" part.

Lots of people new to poly aren't going to know what they want and how they would be happiest until they give multiple relationships an honest try. I know no one wants to be someone's "poly experiment", but it's not experimenting in a callous or disrespectful way to say, "I really care about you and would like to have a relationship with you, but I'm hesitant for *fill in the blank* reasons. If we give this a try, can we move slowly and see how it goes?" The keys, as usual, are communication and honesty, and avoiding charging ahead at full speed just because there's something new and shiny on the horizon. That's how train wrecks happen.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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