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Old 05-08-2012, 06:19 PM
km34 km34 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624

Originally Posted by smokymtngirl85 View Post
See that is the type of environment I would LOVE to be in. I have looked for groups in my area a tiny bit. But the one group i reached out to still has yet to respond and it just got me even more discouraged than I already was.
Have you thought about maybe trying to start another group? If no one in the group contacted you back, it may mean they aren't very active. If is used in your area, you can start a group on there and see if you gain interest. Or even just posting on craigslist or something like that.

Also, have you tried joining other groups that support your other interests? It sounds like you tend to surround yourself with religious people (I used to do that) which makes it difficult to find welcoming groups. Maybe go outside of the normal circles and find a completely separate group, with no overlap, and see if you can make friends who will be more open minded?

Originally Posted by smokymtngirl85 View Post
Sometimes I wonder if I don't tell people more for my husband's sake. . .I know he doesn't want people to know especially his family. He's always been so obsessed with what people will think about everything.
Secretly, I think he's ashamed of me even though he doesn't say so. And I keep holding my head up and pushing past it but it hurts a lot.
Why does he care that strongly what other people think? I had to fight this with my husband. We still haven't told that many people, but we are on OKC with pictures posted and all, so we're not particularly hiding it. Neither of us has another partner at the moment either, so there's really nothing to tell... haha But, anyway, he was literally afraid his family wouldn't love him anymore - that his sisters wouldn't allow him to see his nieces and nephews, that his parents would be revolted, that he would literally lose everyone he loves (besides me) if they found out we are poly. After months of talking about it, he realized that was irrational. Other family members have come out with much worse (think various varieties of law breaking and lots of cheating in most marriages) so even if his family didn't approve, they'd still love him and treat him like family. It was something he really had to fight to get over, though.

Have you told him you think he's ashamed of you? Does your husband id has poly?
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