Have I recently mentioned how much I love this forum?? Well, I do.
Originally Posted by ThatGirlInGray
YES. This. And with the fight against the "promiscuous" assumption, it's hard to bring up poly. We end up being "not gay enough" AND "sluts". *sigh*
I'm a little bit of a gamer (tabletop RPG's) but I'm not into any of those other things you listed as being big in your poly community either, so I hear you. I have a hard time with interest-based groups in general because, while there are geeky/nerdy things I like, I'm never AS into them as the rest of the people there, so I end up feeling like I don't really belong.
*hugs* No answers or even suggestions, but I totally understand! Oregon isn't THAT far from Northern CA, maybe someday we can have our own meetup!
I really do like the people we meet in the poly forums, and the people who are under 40 are generally much, much, much less weird about newness/current situation than the younger people are. Which is fine since I generally have more in common with people under 40 anyway.
I do love the idea of having our own meetup. I think it would be interesting to try to get as many polyamory.com contributors as possible together at once to see if we all like each other as much in person. lol
Originally Posted by SNeacail
I think this was my biggest obstacle over the last 6 years or so. I had always found my friends through church and after years of not really connecting with anyone, and then my view/beliefs started to evolve and change, I was left floundering with no one I felt safe having theological discussions with. I had to look outside my normal comfort zones and venture into the unknown.
For some strange reason, about a year ago, I got some wild hair to join a Renaissance Faire group. I don't sing, play music or even like acting, in fact around strangers, I get real shy, but I do knit, sew and like history and this group had a place for that and it's also a year round re-enactment group. I can't believe how fast I made some really dear friends. It was really strange to sit with a group a women, sewing while watching scifi movies. While the Christian community is a minority, the Bi women out number the straight and lesbian combined.
It is a slow process, to find a place to fit. Start looking for groups that cater to your interests and visit a few times. Look into trying something new.
I grew up in a very tight-knit church. My grandpa was a pastor, my uncle became a pastor, I was VERY involved. My friends either went to my church or a church nearby and we all did churchy things together. Not having that connection is very strange to me. My problem right now is that I don't have any hardcore interests. I can't think of a single thing that I am so passionate about or interested in that I would want to have a dedicated time for week after week. Very few things I would be willing to set aside one dedicated day a MONTH for a group activity. I like variety. I need to find a group for variety. lol