Originally Posted by polyburned
If you dont mind me asking, from your perspective, would you recommend that I try to point out to jay the ways that bob has mistreated and manipulated him? Or is that something that he needs to figure out for himself?
I don't think anyone pointing it out to me would have helped me get out any earlier. I may have seen them as a threat and cut them off. luckily my few friends, although they knew something was wrong, just supported me until I was ready to open up.
the things you say about Bob are triggers for me. after I divorced my abusive husband I really struggled because I couldn't understand why he was so mean over things he should have just done because he should care about our kids, and someone on a forum I frequented suggested I read up on narcissistic personality disorder. suddenly things started making sense for me but it still took a long time to recover. I wish I had been able to see it sooner, but I was so isolated I couldn't. maybe the best thing to do is help Jay to not be isolated, because when someone controls you to that extent you're isolated even if you're in a crowd.