Originally Posted by psychomia
Polyburned, I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. I have no helpful wisdom, having just got my heart stomped on as well, but I feel very keenly for Jay's predicament. I was once an abused wife and if people who cared about me hadn't stood by until I was ready to get out, I don't think I would have been strong enough to do it.
Just wanted to put some emphasis on that bit, because it's painfully true.
As hard as it is to see someone hurt, bear in mind that it's a thousand times harder to be the one who's being hurt. Getting out isn't easy, and it can't be rushed by folks outside the abuse. That makes it even harder on the one being abused. About the only thing that can help is offering a nonjudgemental ear, and offering help if you feel you can.
The wounds left from psychological abuse aren't visible, but they're just as powerful as physical ones. Jay is probably scared and confused, being further confused by Bob, and probably can't see a way out right now, or maybe even thinks he shouldn't even try. It's hard. Hopefully, he'll find a way.