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Old 11-28-2009, 11:54 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
I'm not one of your husband's groupies.

There was no hidden agenda, no dual meaning behind my last post whatsoever. I just gave you my two cents and chose not to sugar-coat it. I stand by whatever I said before. I will go one step further and say that it all sounds pretty co-dependent to me (note the use of E-Prime here and elsewhere). I have decided not to engage in a debate with you about whether my life is more or less "WTF" than yours because that is simply a red-herring.

I'll say once again that I find it a bizarre dynamic for someone to appreciate being disrespected because it is therapeutic. It seems obvious that you enjoy it, yet you say you have a problem with it. The distinction between whether it goes on in your home or not is aesthetic, IMO, since you say your husband doesn't even wish to recognize a problem or engage in understanding of why it is YOUR problem. I am paraphrasing, but your original words are up there if anyone would like to pick apart the minutiae of any discrepancies.

I have not violated and of the rules of the forum by what I said to you. I am not at all surprised that you received it way you did. In fact, I would have been surprised had it been any other way. I make a point to be as blunt as possible and have been told by others that it is appreciated. Of course I am prepared for the way I came across to be perceived as harsh and "judgemental", but if it is working out for you, it shouldn't matter what other people think. It makes no difference to ME what you do with yourself.

If you know yourself and what works for you and what makes you tick as well as you describe in your writing, it seems that you know the answers to what you need to do, deep down in your gut, and do not need strangers on an internet forum to validate that. You wrote enough that you have already given yourself the answer(s) and advice you need.
Ygirl and I quite often see eye to eye on these things, with two distinct ways of "talking." I find that Ygirl gets to the point in a different way and can be very blunt. She does however, in my experience, get that way out of concern for others and needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Sometimes she evokes some strong emotions for people, and while they can evoke anger, I believe she does it with a bit of tongue in cheek and as a way to make people look at their shit from an un-sugar coated approach.

Good for you for giving her a good yelling at. I was beginning to think that you didn't have that in you and that you let people walk over you. I'm glad to see that my assumption was wrong Nice to see some strong woman in you, because by all accounts your situation doesn't indicate its in you, just yet.
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