Had a talk with hubby. Didn't cover every little aspect, but the focus was primarily on improving sexual and emotional connectivity. Y heavily suspects something is up with me regarding E, but he chose not to push it, and I guess I chose not to bring it up. I wonder if that was right or not, but I'm still trying to determine what place E should have in my life.
Y's agreed to read the Love Languages book with me, and also was much more open to marriage counseling than I expected. He's also tried very hard since that talk to be receptive in his own way. Not necessarily in every way I need, but it is a positive step. We are also taking steps to try to spend more time together away from home where the distractions like TV and video games happen. We're hoping this will make us feel less like strangers.
Y is definitely making huge strides to communicate with me, so at least he is trying very hard, and the best he knows how.
It's been so good to see your guys' stories. I've seen reasons for hope as well as caution about my situation. Dragonflysky, thank you for your story....time will tell how much Y can meet my needs, but I feel he at least deserves more of a shot. And I'm not ready to let him go yet. Staring around this place imagining what it would be like to move out if we divorced was by far one of the most lonely thoughts I've had in a while.
Still....if it turns out that he can't fulfill those needs, then I will need the strength to tell him so. Or if I decide I need to be more open sexually and emotionally, then I will have to find the strength to tell him that...whichever comes first.
I thank you all for your support so far. I definitely hope to roam the community a bit more, as this seems like a pretty great place.