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Old 05-05-2012, 08:51 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906

Hey hun,

I hope you don't mind me calling you that. Just wanted to offer a cheers up: the risk of you having caught HIV is abysmally low while using condoms correctly. Even without protection and being the receptive partner in anal intercourse (the riskiest activity by far) runs the risk of infection of around 1 %. So your chances are really good.

Also, while I don't know zit about Bob's medical situation (and he would be unlikely to disclose it anyway) chances are that he's on antiretrovirals, which means his viral load could be very low, even non-existent. There is no evidence to suggest that people on a medication with very low viral loads can pass on the infection. And kissing won't surely do the trick.

Just wanted to cheer you up and bust some myths many people have on HIV (like it's super-easy to catch etc).

Also would like to comment on LoveFromGirl's suggestion: prosecution will just make it more likely that people like the OP continue to be exposed to risks they don't want to take. HIV isn't passed from one person to the next by people who know they are HIV positive: it's passed on by people who don't know their status, either because they have no idea of the risks involved or they are too scared to test. Criminal prosecution practises like bashing HIV positive people who engage in consensual and protected sexual activities is only going to increase the number of people who choose not to test because they don't want to know, don't want to deal with the stigma and don't want to be possibly facing criminal charges. No knowledge of status, no case.

Many life-threatening if untreated and permanent STDs for which testing is available are not similarly criminalized. HIV carries unique stigma, most likely because it's a disease associated with gays, drug users and Black people.

Fighting the stigma associated with HIV is the only way to stop the epidemic. Condoms are effective against the infection; people need to get tested, know their HIV status and get on the medication they need. This cannot be if knowing your status carries criminal liability. Adult people who engage in consensual sex are responsible for their own protection against STDs, i.e. whether they choose to use condoms or not. The OP did, and is reaping the benefits as we speak.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower

Last edited by BlackUnicorn; 05-05-2012 at 08:55 PM.
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