Originally Posted by Alexandra
Some of the people who want, need, to experience this sense of being amazing are shy, awkward, needy etc. And when it's a woman who is these things, one that L finds attractive, who makes him feel protective and adored... well, then they start to feel Special and Chosen. And then when they feel Special, they start to think they might be More Special than the wife.
I am aware that their cocky disrespect towards me is often born out of their own feelings of inadequacy or low self esteem. And L makes them feel amazing!
I don't want to take that away from them! That's pretty cool; isn't it? That L can help them to feel good about themself?
I don't begrudge that, why should I? His ability to give people an awareness of themselves as extraordinary is a gift to be shared. And who needs it more than people who feel badly about themselves?! How selfish would I be to disallow those people from experiencing what L can give them?!
The issue - the problem - is that they carry that attitude into my home, and that L enables and allows that to happen.
I'd say that's amazingly dysfunctional. That you're uncomfortable with the disrespect shown you shows that whatever you gain from that whole dynamic is outweighed by the negative elements. I figure whenever you're truly disenchanted by whatever it is you gain from allowing this dynamic to continue, you'll finally take action to end it.
I just don't see it ending while you're busy defending it.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.