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Old 05-04-2012, 09:12 PM
love13 love13 is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 2
Question Moving from swinging to poly, and broaching the subject with friends

Hey y'all,

I'm brand new to the forum and have read so much already my eyes hurt! Though I'm sure I'll find even more fabulous content on my questions here as I keep reading, I figure I'll throw my questions out there for anyone who feels compelled to add a line.

Here's my scenario:
My hubby and I have always been open to more participants in our sex life, but only together. About 6 months ago, we finally decided that full swing was an option as well. My hubby is much more about the sex, but I can't help that I just love to crush and love. I'd love some thoughts on transitioning from just sex to more complete relationships... We're both very patient (well, he's just foaming at the mouth to get some pussy, but we've been so busy and it's definitely a lesser priority than our own relationship or other major life "stuff" =) ), and I'm sure things will evolve this way. I'm hoping he'll really spark something special with a gal, so that he'll see how possible and wonderful it is to love more than one, at once...

Okay, moving on, and why I thought to seek out this forum TODAY. I feel like I should be on some teenie bopper site with this question BUT I have the hots for my man's best friend! Yikes, I know. We usually see him (and his gf - we're all excellent friends) occasionally, but now we've become roommates. And it's driving me nuts! I love the feeling, really. The hot crush, the "what did that look mean?!" wonderings, the daydreams. But oh-so-complicated! I'm already making bets with myself about how many of you reply with "don't even try it, hands off, forget about it, it'll all crash and burn."

Here's the thing - my hubby and I are GREAT friends with this lovely mono couple. They've had a 3-some or two, but are otherwise pretty traditional. We all love each other fully, platonically, though my spidey sense says there's a reasonable mutual attraction between the fella and me.

Secrets/lying is not an option. Recipe to end the relationship, I'm sure all here would agree. So without MURDERING the relationship (any of them) how can I get this idea into his mind without it sounding like the worst idea ever? (I can imagine my own internal groan if hubby came to me saying he had the hots for MY best friend. Awkward...and I'm the more "flexibly-minded" of our couple)

Here are some avenues I've considered:

1. Just talking to the hubby. NO idea how this conversation would start... lol. Oy!

2. Getting the hubby, crush and his gf a little toasty, suggesting some 4-way fun. Enjoying the opportunity, but not getting my full fantasy of one-on-one time. I actually wouldn't be too bummed with this. We all actually live together (just recent) and are planning on a multi-month road trip together in the next year. Could make it extra fantastic.

3. Okay, I only have two reasonable ideas.

Sounds like it could work, and then I remind myself that we've had so little experience together that it might be best to do some practicing with folks not so central to our lives - but is there such a thing as easing into this? Just sex or more romantically? Sigh...

I think that a smart plan here could end up with just lovely results. But maybe not? Love your thoughts, ideas, advice, and love.

Thanks, all.
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