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Old 05-04-2012, 09:07 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,396

Re (from Chaos, Post #1):
"So here is my quandry, I'm just not sure how to treat this other guy. I'm not a super mushy person, and while I get along well with the guy, it's not like I'm going to spend tons of time with him all of a sudden. I've read on quite a few posts that this is about love, not sex."
By "this" you mean ... polyamory? Polyamory (IMO) is about love, romance, and (usually) sex. All of the above.

But who says you have to be polyamorous (or 100% polyamorous) per se? This other guy could easily be your friend with benefits. No harm done, as far as I can tell.

Re (from Chaos, Post #1):
"I don't know how to schedule time with him, how often I should ask him to come over, or if I should go to his house."
Why not just ask him about that? I'm sure he'd be willing to work with you on it.

Re (from km34, Post #4):
"If you think he is getting ahead of the situation either by the way he behaves around you or by other actions (the sending you flowers) then you need to talk to him and tell him what you're expecting from the relationship."
Good advice, that.

Re (from Chaos, Post #5):
"*I* think that [DH] wants something, and puts it into the 'poly' box, and maybe it doesn't fit there."
Quite possible. There's a lot of terminology between all this poly, swing, and FWB stuff. Your husband may want to brush up on some of his terms.

Re (from Chaos, Post #5):
"I am trying to figure out exactly what I want, and I'm not good with exploring my feelings. I just don't want to hurt anybody along the way."
Seems like you're coming from a reasonable perspective. Just keep reading, pondering, asking questions, and taking small steps.

Oh, and welcome to our forum, Chaos!
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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