Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
The soon-to-be-ex wife IDs as asexual. As I understood the story, she was so low on feeling loved and appreciated that she sought out this sexual relationship, which she didn't really want (being asexual) to get some of the feelings back.
And the soon-to-be-ex hubs felt that if he hadn't withdrawn from all affectionate contact out of misunderstanding (since some asexual people do not like to be touched at all, while his ex obviously does), she wouldn't have had to seek out this one-night-stand out of desperation.
No no, I get that part. But being asexual doesn't mean someone has to choose to never have sex with anyone. And she has stated she does want and desire affection, has had it with her soon to be ex, so it isn't out of the realm of possibility that she might choose to be intimate with someone else at some point.
Seeing as I saw nothing mentioned about her being coerced or distraught over it, not even a mention that it was something she did only out of "desperation", I'm confused as to why the soon to be ex is feeling so responsible or that her being intimate with someone was indeed a completely bad thing. Even if she is regretful after the fact, her soon to be ex didn't MAKE her choose to sleep with the fella. If she feels that way, that would indicate a pretty strong lack of accountability on her part unless she was coerced.