Originally Posted by Vinccenzo
Maybe I'm missing something.....
Why is it bad that she had sex with someone else? Was she traumatized? Was she coerced? Is she emotionally damaged and seriously regretful over it? Is she trying to place responsibility for her actions on your guy? I mean, she is a grown adult right? He has had for a while now the ability to be intimate with people other than her so why is it a big bad thing if she decides to do so too?
The soon-to-be-ex wife IDs as asexual. As I understood the story, she was so low on feeling loved and appreciated that she sought out this sexual relationship, which she didn't really want (being asexual) to get some of the feelings back.
And the soon-to-be-ex hubs felt that if he hadn't withdrawn from all affectionate contact out of misunderstanding (since some asexual people do not like to be touched at all, while his ex obviously does), she wouldn't have had to seek out this one-night-stand out of desperation.
"Resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems the root of our spiritual disease."
"In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper - list people, institutions and principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself why you are angry."
"In most cases it was found out that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, including sex, were hurt or threatened. We were sore, burnt-up." Alcoholics Anonymous, 64-65.