Her going to see a counselor on her own to sort out some of the why questions might be a good starting point. Let them attack the elephant in the room. They could add you in later if and when needed or appropriate .
How have you been sleeping through out this? That was one of my biggest problems and it really fucks with the decision making or gut trusting process.
Don't be sorry ....this is a perfect place to air such a story or problem....hundreds of stories just like yours