Thread: Newbie dilemma
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Old 05-04-2012, 10:25 AM
rrrrr rrrrr is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 6
Question Newbie dilemma

Hi there,

I'm new to poly and still coming to terms with it. I'm not sure I identify with it 100%, but it is the closest approximation of my beliefs and I thought this group would understand.
I apologise if I've posted this in the wrong place or if it's been asked before (I did a quick search).

I am currently seeing two people. They both know I am not willing to be in an exclusive arrangement and are alright with that, although we haven't specifically discussed other people we're seeing. Person A I am a bit closer to, he has not dated multiple people and I'm not sure that he is personally able to but he may, because he sees the logic in it and has no problem with it. Person B is pursuing other semi-casual relationships, we are still in early stages. I suppose B is secondary based on time we've known each other, but I don't feel super comfortable with hierarchical arrangements.

I will be having a party. Do I invite both partners? How do I introduce them to guests when neither is 'official'?

Person A is in my friendship group, Person B is separate at this point.
I don't want to exclude Person B, but nor do I want to invite both people and make either jealous or uncomfortable, or have it appear that I am being disrespectful to Person A in front of our mutual friends if I'm affectionate to Person B as well. I'm not ready to come out to everyone and sort of think I shouldn't need to explain myself to every guest, but I don't want to act neutral or unaffectionate towards the partners I care about.

And who stays the night?

Is there a rule of thumb here, or an old thread that might be relevant?

Thank you in advance for any advice offered!
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