Help. I dont think im cut out for this.
my name is Smoke stack. I'm in a poly relationship. It includes one Male, and 3 females, including myself. I love this man more than i can comprehend. Sometimes i think hes the only one who understands me. But sometimes i think no one understands me at all. The two other girls, one of them i want nothing more than to be friends. I don't find her attractive, but she is great friend. the other girl i am attracted to. Shes my same age, but there is nothing we have in common. All i can base my attraction off of is her physical appearance. I don't know why but it seems like we are two completely different people. This makes me angry because i want to get close to her but it seems impossible. She acts like she wants nothing to do with me, but wants everything to do with the Male in the relationship. I just don't understand how we can love the same man, but have no interest in each other.
Am i being too picky? Is this normal? My interests might be too lame and geeky for her to get into. Maybe I'm not cut out to be in this relationship? If i trusted and got to know her more, maybe i wouldn't feel so jealous. Sometimes i feel like shes here to take my place, she is the same age as me after all. Then i get these thoughts, shes skinny-er than me, has perfect teeth, I don't. She acts like she is more sexually active than me and i sit and think about how that's probably more attractive to the male, being sexually charged. I mean, I like sex as much as the next 19 year old but, I'm kind of inexperienced. All these things make me jealous and I'm pulling my hair out at the thought of losing the male, I just want to like her...