You remind me of my younger self. I had a hard time communicating with people because I would fill in waaaay too many details. When I used to think and talk like that, I had a hard time finding solutions to things because I was too focused and distracted by the details. Also, people didn't like to listen to me because I couldn't get to the juice, to the real point of what I wanted to say quickly. I'll suggest to you that other people may not be challenged by your "vulnerability", but instead are challenged to wait for you to get to what you're really trying to say, to the juice without the fluff. This is my perception of you in how you write, so please only wear the shoe if it fits.
I don't really understand where you're at in your relationships or where you want to be. And if I can't understand those two things quickly (at a basic level) from your writing, it makes me wonder, do you? Or, do your lovers?
Granted, I'm a guy, sometimes (often) it has to be laid out for me: "I want xyz, I need you to abc." Can you answer these three questions very briefly and clearly:
Where are you at in each of your relationships?
Where do you want to be in each of your relationships?
What can you do to get there? If you can't get exactly what you want, what are your options?