Thanks for the welcome!
The condition is a paraphrasing on my part from a couple of different conversations I've had with my guy. Here's a paste from a chat that we had yesterday:
"Is this the bottom line? You are attracted to both she and I as objects of your sexual desire, and your love, honor, respect, and cherish for her demands that you not indulge that desire with her unless she initiates that contact. Further, a condition of my love, honor, respect and cherish for you must by definition include an understanding and support of that bond."
"I think that's a fair and accurate reflection of the situation. Yes."
This is all so new to me that I am still exploring what is appropriate to ask for in the negotiation and what my motives would be for any conditions. I don't want to infringe on something that they both need. I do want to be supportive and loving. Wary of anything that sets up a her v. me situation.
Mostly I've asked lots of questions, but I haven't asked for anything yet. Other than to be loved entirely, not as a subset of just meeting the one need that's absent their bond.