Thread: Please Help
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Old 05-03-2012, 05:25 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post

I don't suggest you start leaning on him heavily and manipulating him into polyamory. People can change their minds - go from swinging to poly to mono and back again. You've asked a couple of times, and he has said no. Where's the rush?
Yes, this.
If there's one thing I've learned after my husband and I opened our relationship - it's that things cannot, will not, absolutely CANNOT be rushed.

I'm ok with things now, that I said vehemently 'no' to a year ago. A couple of months ago, even.
Rushing things can make someone feel pressured, suffocated, cornered, and less and less inclined to seriously think about what you are proposing.

I can really relate to your feelings of wanting things right now.. but it will really help the both of you if you have the courage and trust to take things slow.

My husband and I also went from an open relationship / swinging to steady, romantic poly amorous relationships. If you had told me this was going to happen, 2 years ago, I would have said you were completely crazy. Yes, people change their minds.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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