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Old 05-03-2012, 11:39 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906
Default Couple sexuality and poly

This comes up in so many threads on the Poly Relationship Corner and is one of the things that seems to worry people new to poly a lot. So I wanted to start a thread that is not necessarily problem/crisis centered around it.

What effect, if any, do you feel poly has on the sex life you have?
Is there a comparison? Do you or your partner(s) fear comparison?
Does gender/orientation/kinkiness of current and prospective partners affect these feelings or fears around comparisons in any way?

Do you feel you have more or less sexual energy to go around when you have several people in your life you relate to sexually? Does this fluctuate?
What, if anything, is especially challenging when it comes to the amount of sexual energy and time for sex you have?
Is NRE a factor and if so, how does it influence your relationships?

Do you think poly/nonmonogamy in general are good options for couples who don't have matching interests and/or desire levels?
What are the possible benefits/pitfalls you can see for having very different sex lives with different people?
What kind of boundaries do you feel need establishing around your sex life from the perspective of multiple people being involved?

How freaked out are you about STDs/pregnancies?
How comfortable are you with your sexuality and has poly/nonmonogamy has any effect on that?
Is there anything you would like to change about your sex life?

I could come with another ten questions on top of my hat, feel free to answer any and all. I'm not keeping records of any kinds but just want to have a thread where I can see what others think on this.

And please note that when I'm speaking of couple sexuality, I'm not presuming the couple needs to be a certain kind of couple (primary, secondary, new, established, live-in, LDR, LTR, whatever). I'm using couple sexuality just to differentiate from individual sexuality, i.e. the sexualities of at least two different people coming together.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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