Today marks 2 years since Elemental and I wed each other in front of a room of people that we love, and are loved by. Today has been a shower of love from him; a note on the counter this morning, a txt, an email, a facebook wall post, a phone call at lunch and a massive bouquet of flowers arriving at work this afternoon. Tonight is dinner out with my family to celebrate and be together. Small milestone - two years - but a milestone nonetheless, especially given our struggles earlier this year.
Elemental knew that he wanted to marry me as soon as he met me, but as he was my secondary partner, he was silent about that feeling inside of himself. "I gave up on finding you over a decade ago.... I would have been happy to just know that you existed, and be your friend" was how he put it. I remember the moment that I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him - a moment that changed the entire course of my life. My heart chose Elemental, and my heart knew that I would regret not pursuing a partnership with him for the rest of my life.
I knew that he wanted to marry me, but was cautious about that next step into commitment. Having gone through a failed marriage when I was younger I wanted to be totally sure, and the only way for that feeling to settle into my heart was to give it time. We'd been together for a little over two years when we headed down to Tulum, Mexico for a vacation. We booked ourselves into as many little eco-boutique hotels as we could find, and toured around their wind-powered/candle-lit beauty, avoiding all-inclusives and tourist traps like the plague. We splurged on a ridiculous suite at our favourite of the four places we tried for our last night. A huge balcony overlooking the ocean with lounge chairs awaited us after an incredible dinner, and we lay on chaise lounges with brandies talking and snuggling. He went inside for a moment, and returned with the strangest look on his face. He sat down next to me, and proceeded to tell me the contents of his heart, and ask me to marry him. With a clear heart and open eyes I said yes, and he slipped a hilarious ring on my finger. Not wanting me to accidentally see my engagement ring (in the hotel room safe, in his luggage, etc) he had purposely not brought it with him, instead acquiring a piece of jewellery earlier in the day from a street vendor. When we got home he gave me a blinding band of diamonds that I still smile over most days.
We planned to elope - we had both had previous marriages, and neither of us were really into the whole fuss and muss of a ceremony. When I shared this with some of my close friends they were so disappointed. We talked about it, and decided that we'd just have a small gathering of people and exchange vows, then have a cocktail reception and head off for a honeymoon.
Being the busy business woman that I am, I entrusted everything but the dress to the wedding planner at the hotel that we chose. She sat me down and tried to go over details with me, but aside from picking the rooms we wanted to use and the trays of appetizers that were to be circulated during cocktail time, I really didn't care. The only decision that mattered had already been made - to marry Elemental.
I chose simple colours - red, black and white, and ordered a bouquet of maroon callas and rich red roses in full bloom. Maroon callas for boutonierres for Elemental, his father and mine, rose corsages for the mums of the bride/grooms. If I was to have one bridesmaid, I'd have to have nine (my circle of best friends) and so I chose to have none. I did have a ball choosing a dress though; a ridiculous affair that I had tried on as a joke because it was so bloody flashy - covered in iridescent beads and lace, strapless, it hugged me all the way to my thighs and then cascaded into a long train of silk and swishy beauty. Hairdresser of 15 years did my wedding hair, my crew o' ladies hung out with me in my hotel room making sure I didn't pass out. Huge heels, one of my girlfriends did my makeup, another girlfriend is a professional photographer and followed me around snapping, another a videographer followed me around filming.
Elemental walked down the aisle to That Loving Feeling by Isaac Hayes (hilarious) and I chose At Last by Etta James. I don't know if I have ever been more excited in my life. His brother emceed and did all of the sound, one of my best friend's dads married us. My guru did our wedding blessing, and one of my good friends who studies a method of healing did a blessing as well. 85 people were there with us - our closest friends, immediate family and people that we work with everyday, and there was so much love in that room that I had a perma-grin on my face the entire day. I was so glad for their humour - my huge guffaws broke my tension, and I relaxed into the ceremony - the vows that he and I had written curled up in bed together, the resounding "We will" from our loved ones when asked if they would support our union and love. Wedding bands, papers signed, we were married. MARRIED!
We had a beautiful pink dogwood tree in the centre of our reception, and people wrote their blessings/thoughts on pieces of ornately decorated paper to hang from its branches for us. Two of my closest girlfriends had birthdays on the same day as our wedding, and so I had a special cake brought in and everyone sang Happy Birthday to them - we cut that cake for our cake toast, and had cheesecakes and desserts, chocolate and vanilla cakes, a variety from another friend's bakery instead of just one.
People made speeches, there was crying, there was tons of laughing. I sat with my parents, my "grandmother" (not by blood, they've long passed away, but I consider her my grandmother for all of those years of my childhood that she cared for me after school) and people that I love with all of my heart. Tons of photographs, video, we gave it a couple of hours, and then said our goodbyes. Some friends took presents back to our house, and we went to a couple of locations for more photos before we'd just had enough of all of it. Our suitcases were already packed and in our vehicle, and we were ready to go. We said goodbye to our dogs and our friends who were housesitting for us and away we went.
We drove to a nearby town to go to our very favourite restaurant - they'd reserved the whole back room for us, and had a bottle of champagne on ice waiting. They wouldn't let us pay for it, so we left such a massive tip for our server that she still has a special sparkle in her eye for us even now. We ate delicious food, relaxing after an action packed day happy to just have alone time without being totally exhausted. Off to a b&b for a night of bubble baths, massages and hot husband and wife fucking. Slept in, breakfast in our room then off to the ferry to a nearby island for a week in a luxury hotel. We went to museums and galleries, out for dinners, to the spa, for long walks and out for drinks. We slept late, made love, read and relaxed before returning home.
Life, circumstance and upset have questioned the strength of our relationship/marriage/union many times since that day, and ever time I get the same answer back. Elemental is my match - in the intensity and depth of his love, in the willingness to do the hard work with me, in his commitment to continually evolve and grow as a human being. He grounds me with his resounding masculinity and connection to the steady pace of life; he works with his hands, gardens, paints, draws, sculpts, and sees the beauty in nature. He accepts me as I am, loves me for all that I have been, or will be, and strives to be a better man when he fails my heart. He always respects my independence and is immensely proud of my accomplishments. He supports me in so many ways; cooking meals every night of the week if work is hectic, helping me with our home, his words, his love, his unwavering belief in my skills and abilities. He is fiery, tempermental and difficult - but what intelligent, passionate man isn't? Five and a half years into our relationship, two years into marriage I yearn for him physically even more than I did in the beginning of our relationship; my body knows all of the gifts that he brings, and my pulse quickens at the thought of him. My match. My mate. My man. My heart.
Happy anniversary, dear Elemental. Here's to many more years of loving, fighting, fucking, forgiving and living together, standing side by side in this crazy journey called life. As we expand our love outwardly, let us never forget this incredible, immense and intense connection that you and I share - we have been gifted with something that doesn't come often in life, and it is a beautiful and sacred thing. I honour you in my heart every day, and love you unlike anyone else. Thank you for never needing to own me, to possess or control me - thank you for knowing that love is something to share, not hold tightly to us like thieves in the night. I love you.
Last edited by nycindie; 12-28-2013 at 10:22 PM.