I had a conversation last night with someone that considers themself poly and is pretty mainstream, their opinon of our poly group and those who were at it was that we were all flakey freaks. They stuck around to hear more and to find some community, but they are not big into books such as the "Ethical Slut" either...they also don't use the language or live poly in such an intellectual way... I suspect most don't. Most people don't discuss things as we do on here I suspect. they just live their lives as they need to. They are probably not as fraught with intellectual crap such as defintions as I am I sometimes wonder.
My ex girlfriend is very mono wired and also feels threatened by poly and the "Ethical Slut" book. She and I tried out non monogamy and it made her physically sick it went against her wiring so much. She is really struggling with the fact that I am again in a triad and pretty much rolls her eyes and thinks that we are the ones that are fucked in the head. I know a lot of people who think that, the whole team I work with does (I work on a team of 7 staff that supports 16 people with developmental delays and disabilities I could speak for hours about the mono and poly wiring I see in my clients! But that would not be appropriate)... They would never live as I do and have all talked about the possibility and come to that conclusion. They feel threatened by poly also.
I don't know how much of it is wiring and how much of it societal, but does it really matter? The majority thinks this way. End of story. We just have to live our truth and get on with it instead of arguing details.... its becomes way too personal and dwells on semantics. At least for me it does.
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