Hmm how funny
Looking back at the posts I made not long ago...Much of the drama has faded. Once Bent left the picture, the emotions settled quite a bit and we are left with the whirlwind that NRE left in its wake and the fact that it was cut short and the results of that as well.
Blu said a week ago that maybe she wouldnt want to stay in the marriage. I respect any decision she makes. We both agreed that sex right now just isn't working and hasn't been for some months. Things have actually become simpler since we stopped. We have been discussing things more.
What I think the thing with Bent exposed to her was a sense of non-attachment to me. We broke down the exclusivity and she all of a sudden feels very alone. I had had this sense of non-attachment since the beginning of our relationship-so didn't go through the same thing. I have to say that her very brief relationship with Bent (not sure if you can go as far to call it a relationship-fling I guess) made me more appreciative of her and made me feel more attached to her. Its too bad that it took her fling to bring out those feelings in me. I told her that perhaps I have taken her for granted over the years.
In short we have a lot of things to sort through and have started doing that. I am worried, though, that things will fade into the background. I am finding it hard to find the balance between talking about things and judging when talking about things becomes excessive and a nuisance. Im talking from my perspective, because I don't usually get annoyed about talking about stuff but Blu does. I am afraid to bring up Bent because if she has processed through it, why would I remind her about it. And yet, I have things that I need to sort through too. So its a weird balance.
I agree with people here who have said that we have to work through our primary relationship before we take on other lovers. Blu has said its hard for her to see the future now, and in the past days I have found that she is more insecure now that Bent has left the picture. I think she has problems seeing that other guys want to be with her...or an inability to see how to get together with potential lovers.
Anyways, things seemed to have stabilized. Its a strange lull. Will let you know how it works out.