View Single Post
Old 05-01-2012, 08:02 AM
Phy's Avatar
Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 648

Female, 29.

1. Who is all inclusive of your polyamorous group? Me as the centre, my husband and my spouse.

2. How many partners do you have that you live with? Said husband and boyfriend.

3. How long have you been together? I have been with my husband for nearly 12 years now, relationship to my other spouse lasted for nearly 10 months now.

4. Did you start out in a monogamous relationship and then change to Polyamorous relationship? Yes, my husband and I were monogamous for eleven years before we opened the relationship. Why? I simply fell in love again.

5. Who has the most decision-making power and why is that specific person in the group given that power? That would be me. As for the reason for it ... it may be just my character? That's the way I am, I have a strong will, I need decisions to be based on a solid logical footing and I believe that my reasoning is mostly right and righteous. And the others mostly agree with me (either because I AM actually right or because it is too much of a hassle to disagree, this may vary).

6. Do you share bank accounts? No, never have done so in my monogamous marriage or now. I believe that everyone should have a say about his personal money and income. We have one shared account for living expense and shared bills and food and that's it. Bills are shared according to the percentage of the income the person has in regard to the others to keep things fair and even.

7. What are the gender dynamics of your relationship i.e. do you stick to the same gender roles as do those in monogamous relationships? If you mean the same gender roles as in my previous monogamous relationship, yes nothing changed. I have been the one in charge and I still am. But I doubt that this is connected to some kind of gender role.

8. How does money affect your choice in who is going to be accepted in the group? Has never played a role in my life.

9. When you go out how do you determine if you take everyone or just one person? This depends on the activity. If it is something my husband or by spouse decided to do as a couple (ballroom dance for example) we would go with only the two of us. Normally we use every opportunity to go out with the three of us, as we like being together and both of them like doing things with me. How does that determine the budget of the evening? As we don't have much to spend generally, each of us pays for oneself. Both men love to invite me, therefore I often don't pay for myself in the end. But generally everyone has his/her own budget.

10. Other than sharing bank accounts or budgeting how do you guys handle the money issues in your relationship? Issues are always handled jointly. As all of us contribute to our living together financially, everyone has a say in the matter at hand if there is one. Private investments on a lower scale are up to the person spending his/her money, larger investment are discussed with all three being present.

11. Do you talk about money issues in the relationship? Of course.

12. How satisfied/happy are you with regards to the current money situation in your relationship? Could be a lot better. If you are not happy, how would you change it? Finishing university and start working concerning my part in this; in regard to my spouse, finding some doable job, as he is ill and hasn't found an appropriate job yet.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
Reply With Quote