Thread: compromising.
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Old 05-01-2012, 05:48 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

I haven't been doing this poly thing for very long. But I realized I'm never giving up FirstBoyfriend, as long as he's interested in continuing this. [that was a heckuva revelation to me!]

Compromise? I've been working at not talking to each about the other as much as I want to. When I was with CurrentBoyfriend and FirstBF was our dear friend, I talked freely to them both about anything. I tread more carefully now that I'm having sex with both of them. I hope that's because it's new. I can tell though, that neither wants to step on my expression, but they're tender about it. And I have no need to irritate their tender spots.

Compromise. There are so many things I used to insist upon; things I thought I couldn't live without, and things I thought somebody who was with me should do. I've let go of so much of that. (I'm sorry, I know that's very vague). I'll try for specifics. Both of them are complete and utter slobs. Amazingly, they are slobs in different sorts of ways, mostly (they share a few). I was absolutely insane because of that when I was living with CBF. Now that he has his own place, I don't give a crap. If his house is dirty, I can go home. Or he can visit me in my house. I used to always get sick when FBF would feed me (my skin crawls at the mere thought of his kitchen). I did feed me eggs for breakfast on Sunday, and I was fine. I watched him do the dishes. It was fascinating. It was so not the way that I do dishes. And I held my tongue. Not my job. I think if CBF did not have a dishwasher, I might not eat at his house. :9
Now that could be down to living different places. But I have no goal, no endgame; I'm not 'dating with intent to couple and marry.' I'm in loving relationships with two men. So I don't have to care that they're slobs.

Oh I'm fairly certain that's not what you were looking for. But I appreciate the questions ~ they gave me a good think.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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