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Old 05-01-2012, 03:23 AM
PassionFlower PassionFlower is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 9

A book that helped me figure out how to validate myself and the difference between loving someone and my happiness/being responsible for their happiness is 'The Passionate Marriage.' Not a poly book. Also, great resource to help a marriage is John Gottman's 'The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work.' But remember, it does take two to make a marriage work. In my experience, getting to a place within yourself where you figure out what you need and are okay with leaving the marriage because it's part of giving yourself what you need is essential to change--maybe not his change, but your change, in yourself, so that you can change the situation so you're not hurting yourself. If you are willing to walk away, you are in a powerful position. I don't have any comments on the poly aspects, as I'm figuring that out myself, but I've been married for 11 years.
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