Sorry, missed your post AnnabelMore! Thanks for responding. ^_^
LMAO...he HATES the idea of penises. I tried playfully suggesting three-ways and have been shot down more or less on the basis that the other guy would turn him off. Unless he is a complete closet gay, ha ha. I doubt it though, he definitely gets off on girls.
I don't *think* he's depressed...that's my job, dammit. But I do wonder if he lacks testosterone or something. Then I remember he jacked off to porn 3-5 times a week and I reconsider. I don't know, maybe he is slightly asexual....? In which case we really are a poor match. My brother and I call Y a stimulation addict...he buys random stuff all the time even if it's useless outside of being pretty to look at or is a toy he'll never touch, likes porn a bit too much, and has to play video games and watch tv at the same time often. He does play Yugioh, a trading card game. Often times while watching tv. I don't know, I wonder about him sometimes.
I guess I could have him read the Love Languages book. I just feel at a loss because I've tried to convey to him in so many ways what I need and I think I am frankly getting bored of the way things are. I even told him as much and he didn't take it seriously at first. And I think I've indicated...two or three times that if this primary attention issue isn't corrected I consider it to be an incompatibility problem.
And if I can keep all those ideas straight, I think a lot of the topic points you brought up regarding E and working on things with Y are a very balanced approach. I think it's very important that Y fills Y's gap, not E, and I like that idea very much.
I like the idea of open marriages largely because I think it forces communication even more. I've noticed a lot of the members here are incredibly insightful people, and I think it takes a lot of strength to do what you guys do. I just want to will that same strength into myself, even though I'm very, very scared.
Edit: Did it eat my other post....? Said it needed to be reviewed by a moderator. Hope I didn't do anything wrong. O_O;