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Old 05-01-2012, 02:29 AM
AnotherConfused AnotherConfused is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 264

What a great weekend! Last New Year's Eve dance was a disaster, a catalyst for a whole bunch of drama between my husband and me, centering around my treatment of him vs. my treatment of C and other men. This weekend all three of us attended a local "camp" involving dancing all day and evening Friday through Sunday, and I was a little concerned about the potential for more drama.

First, I got very clear with my husband about expectations: how much we would dance together, which dances we were promising each other, etc. I then erred on the side of caution and sought him out for some dances we hadn't promised.

Then, of course C knew that we needed to keep things discreet between us (we have lots of mutual friends in the dance community, and we know if anything was suspected between us anyone would assume it was an affair). He was so discreet I had to point out that since we hug a whole lot of our dance friends, it's probably ok to hug each other.

The kind of dancing we do is very interactive -not just with your partner but with the other partners in the room. (My husband says it's a kind of dance for poly people; he prefers the waltz!) Consequently there were a couple of moments of the weekend I especially savor -one in which I had my husband holding one hand and C holding my other, and another in which I was in the arms of one of them while the other was with another woman, and then they broke away to take hands and whirl around each other, trading partners. This is all choreographed so they weren't seeking each other out at all, but I still loved seeing that interaction as they traded off being with me. In real life my husband doesn't like to encounter C any more than necessary.

I was giddy all weekend. My husband benefited from that each night, and this morning I got a little time alone with C to express all the affection we were holding back all weekend. Oh my I am in love!

In the back of my mind is this nagging thought that I am partly just in love with this lifestyle, of having both a husband and a boyfriend. I do of course love each of them for their minds, their hearts, their personalities, and mmm their bodies, but I think part of what makes me feel so wonderful is just this getting to have two loves. I think I've always wanted it, but only realized I wanted it a couple of years ago, and have only really had it in a (relatively) comfortable, settled way for the past couple of months.

I am so, so happy. I just can't even believe how happy I am.
Married to a monogamous man 15 yrs, mother of 2, dating C 3 yrs, and in a romantic friendship with L more than 20 yrs
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