Hey Falone. I understand completely where all parties are coming from. I walked a mile in those shoes.
I remember the first time I came home with marks.Hubby and I were walking into Walmart an I was walking a little gingerly. When I explained why... he flipped. I was about in tears when he finished berating me for crossing that line. After discussing the issue with my Dom he felt uncomfortable doing a demo for my husband. The following week we went to a munch. During the course of the evening we met another couple. The Dom in that couple offered to show my husband how it was done.. and that I would be unharmed other than a few marks. We went to the couples place after.
The evening was a good one. The other hubby showing my hubby how things were done. With the guys wife being a temp sub for my husband while the guy worked me over. Hubby learned that night that getting the marks was actually enjoyable for me. The whole process was great. For a short time the other Dom even mentored my husband. Until the day the guy actually did damage me. He took a Cane to my open palms and dismissed my screams as fright. My husband and I made the choice together not to go back.
Hubby has learned a great deal since then . Including how to trust my judgement about my own limits and not his idea of what they should be.