Long Distance Love A Bloomin'
Things are unfolding in this simple way; E. and Sync. txting, Sync and I txting, all three of us chatting/txting together. It's good to reconnect, and watch all of our walls come down again after such a stressful/confusing period of time. I don't think any of us had any real idea of what we were getting involved in, and it feels good as a group to have that naivety fall away and find a new way of being together.
Have so much respect for the heavy lifting that E. is doing, managing his behaviour and boundaries with an intense personal clarity that is bringing a lot of happiness to both Sync and I. It's nice to see him respecting others as well as respecting his love for her; takes the fear right out of my heart and puts me in a place of glowy compersion. That whole sneakin' around thing really fucked up my heart/mind (understandably) in a way that I couldn't have anticipated.
Urgency and mistrust removed, Sync is also working on her side and communicating her thoughts, feelings and needs like never before. It feels so NICE to have open communication coming out of her as well. All of us getting clearer on what we want makes for easy manifestation in our little lovenest, and that's an amazing thing.
She's asked us out to come and visit her. We're expecting a sizable tax return, and will definitely use some of it to go and stay for a weekend or so and continue to reconnect and communication. Now that her whole family knows about us, I'm imagining that we'll be meeting some/most of them as well, which makes me three shades of happy/nervous. My whole family was so supportive of Sync. when they met her, excited about having another "member of the family", playing Scrabble (she won, made my heart proud), going out for dinner, getting to know my sister, my mum, my dad.
That chimera of togetherness-foreverness haunts me/her/E., but I just don't even want to go there right now. Got us all in enough trouble by looking for too long at the end destination on the map instead of the road right in front of us before, and we ended up driving off a fuckin' cliff. We'll just keep on being open, honest and transparent and see where we end up down the line.
She started her first day of work today; a lawyer is being born. Making her Nation proud, Musqueum beauty with brains and discipline rising up to her power - makes my heart swell with happiness for her to witness her cresting on top of all of those years of hard work. Makes me want to knock her over and cover her mouth with mine, kissing all of my congratulations onto her lips and face. Nothing is sexier than an intelligent mind put to use. She will make this world a better place for Aboriginal families to live in with her skills. Yummity.
E. and I continue to repair and rebuild our mistrust and heal the damage in our relationship. Sync's so happy to see it, as are both of us - feels good to have that shit in the past and be moving past it. So relieved to be back inside of myself, in my power, and ready to be strong inside of our relationship again instead of fearful and overly emotional. Le Yuck.
Back to work I go. Love grows amongst ordinary landscapes, rendering the routine into a kaleidoscope of newness. Wish we didn't have to go through the fire together, but I have faith that all things happen just as they should.