Just Want To Share
Well, it has been a rough month for all of us involved. We have all hurt each other and created an environment that was not able create happiness for anyone and left each of us questioning what was the next step and if there was going to be a next step. After many hours of discussions, sharing we started to move forward in our relationship. Sadly, it took a death of one of my partners (X) family members and the other partner (Y) wanting to visit his family for us to bond as we have.
The last week has been so emotional for all of us it was unbelievable. Wanting to take care of partner X while partner Y was away, I made sure that he did not spend more than one night in a row alone. So I lived between my home and theirs for two nights, back and fourth. On the second night I was there, we had a breakthrough in commutation. He shared many things, such as fears as we all grow older (I am almost 20 years younger than both of my partners). While we still have room to grow in this area, I feel we have reached a point of stability and it allows us to keep building this wonderful thing that we have.
This weekend, partner X had to attend his family members funeral and partner Y should receive the same treatment as partner X. So I created this complicated surprise of a package being delivered and that it was sent to the local FedEx store instead. I claimed to have had to go to my office, which is right by our home and said while I am out here let me pick you up and we will get it together. Instead of going to the FedEx store, I took him out to eat at a place he really enjoys (Which he did not understand that there was no package until we were in the parking spot of this restaurant.). As we were eating I told him another surprise was that I was going to spend the night with him. He thought that I was too busy this weekend and was not going to be able to see him.
Fast forward to the following day and we were having some “fun” and I had to stop due to discomfort. At that time I remember looking into his eyes and feeling as if it was just like the first time I feel in love with him. I then became a sobbing 5 year old and explained to him that I was hiding something from both of them and that is the reason it was hard for me to take that “sexual position”. Turns out we had a shared secrete and we spent some time crying together, holding each other and telling each other how much we loved, appreciated and want to protect each other.
All of this happened in the course of one week. We were all hurt, upset and frustrated and questioning our future together and now we are stronger than ever.
The reason for me sharing my story is so that others out there can learn from this. While it may hurt like hell today, do not act irrational based on what your mind thinks. Always give it time and do what you heart tells you to do, your brain is not always right. If I had listened to my brain, I would not be here today, telling you this story of i love both of my partners more than words can ever explain.