hi and welcome.
It seems clear you are not getting what you need from your husband. However adding a second partner to fill a pot hole in a troubled marriage rarely works. And especially if the spouse is unaware there is even a problem...or oblivious to your needs.
How bad do you want to be married (to husband)?
Get the Love Languages book by Gary Chapman ...read it ...get him to read it. Discuss it with each other. Start there .. that's cheap ....I think you should consider marriage counseling. And I'd also cool things down with the roommate until some of these important marriage issues get discussed and worked on so clearer head can prevail.