Thanks for the responses. I enjoy pain, but the whole humiliation/service side of things isn't really my cup of tea. E-stim has been raised as a possibility--might have to explore that I guess. My husband has been very clear that BDSM just doesn't appeal to him at all. It took a fair amount of coaxing just to get a little hair-pulling and spanking into our repertoire, and he just doesn't feel comfortable going much beyond that. He does feel a bit intimidated in the sense that he's said a couple times that he fears sex with my BF is somehow more fulfilling than with him. I'm trying to reassure him that nothing could be farther from the truth. Apples and oranges, apples and oranges. Both of them delicious in their own right. :-)
I think taking a break from bruising activities is probably a good way to go. My husband is behaving much better than I did when confronted with a fear-triggering issue around poly, so I want to give him whatever time or space he needs to work on it.