Originally Posted by nycindie
It sounds like right now, you have all your "together times" with your partners predetermined and scheduled in advance. But how about mixing it up a bit once in a while?
I think that would be helpful for my state of mind, but I also think it could cause some anxiety with my partners.
I don't really follow the primary/secondary hierarchy (it just doesn't quite apply to the way I see things), but I have a sort of primary-ish connection with the male half of the couple. He can get his feelings a little hurt, a little, if I make other weekend plans, though he's never asked me not to. It depends on the reason. We do miss each other a great deal during the week, but live far enough apart that weeknight visits aren't usually practical.
I can understand why he gets his feelings hurt. My long term boyfriend and I joke that I'm his Tuesday girlfriend, but he has a pretty busy schedule of his own. When he started dating someone new last year (younger, cuter, prettier someone new), it was the fact that he held steadfast to Tuesdays always being for me that helped me get through my own insecurity.
The set schedule works as a way of saying "you're important to me, and you can trust that I'm setting this time aside for you."