Originally Posted by mostlyclueless
2. I think I don't like the idea of my partner falling in love with someone else because some part of my brain is convinced that he is not really in love with me. That is not really it. When I say that, it only feels about 50% true, and as an answer to your question, it feels about 50% incomplete. It feels like there has to be more to it, because why would I have such a strong reaction to something I barely even believe? And even if I believed it, why should that belief cause that reaction?
3. When I think about the worst possible future outcome, I picture my partner giving up on trying to care about my feelings, and leaving me at home alone with his (currently non-existent) kids while he goes on fun dates and makes some other girl very happy.
2. It sounds like you need him to give you more attention and hands on loving actions to really believe he loves you. That isn't uncommon. Reassurance is really important when partners go out to find more love in their life. If I were you I would ask him to get on that sooner rather than later. I also wouldn't assume that he knows how to do that or have an expectation that he follow through exactly when you need him to. Often partners need to be told how I understand I am loves and often I have to remind them. They jump too it if I say I need some reassurance and how I want to receive it. I think it is rather relieving to them that I am telling them how to go about showing me they love me. I know I am relieved when they tell me what they need. It takes the mystery out of it and means we can all get to the heart of what is needed.
3. This answer indicates the same need as number 2. that you might need more reassurance. Sometimes I feel so loved and reassured that I push my hubby out the door to go do something with someone. Him staying at home can sometimes mean I don't get a night to myself.
Its all negotiable. If you felt you were staying home with your pretend kids too often then that is when you would tell him that its too much time away and change the routine. You should never feel neglected in any relationship. Mono or poly. There is really no difference between the two when it comes to common sense ways of having loving partnerships. Just that poly means loving more than one. If you would feel neglected because he goes out to bowling too often it would be the same thing... something to think about maybe?