Wow I was just thinking of you the other day and wondering how you guys were doing. My husband and I go through similar battles. It wasn't until we were in therapy that some of the things I had been trying to say registered for him. Basically, we need to operate as a PARTNERSHIP. This means that everyone needs to pitch in and it's BOTH parents responsibility to back up the other parent. My husband actually thought it was ok to just sit back and watch, while I got frustrated with the kids. He was "letting me handle it"
Every couple of months, my husband and I have to write out all the stuff that needs to be done (fix the sprinklers, patch the wall, etc) and review all the everyday chores. We then prioritize and determine what we can realistically get done. Between all our outside activities, we also have to check our calendars for everyday chores.
It might help to have "chore boards" for everyone, including the kids. Use magnets, velcro or such and write out each chore/responsibility individually and then place it under the name of the person that usually takes care of it. That way, when there is a HUGE imbalance, it's very obvious to everyone. However, you also have to be willing to allow others to do the job, even if it's not how or as good as you would have done it. Don't expect Jewell to be able to do even 1/2 of the chores you get done while watching the kids. She is NOT you, she doesn't have a system all worked out yet, cut her some slack if she is stepping outside her comfort zone and praise her for what she did do (this is seriously hard when you come home and see all the stuff that's left for you to do yet).