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Old 04-27-2012, 04:05 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

"I got upset and we had a similar mini battle about how I'm reading too much into it and I'm not trying hard enough to get my head around all of this."

What right does he have to tell you that you're not trying hard enough when HE put you into this incredibly new and difficult position and you would be justified in just saying "you cheated, goodbye"???? I'm in no way saying you should do that, I think it's awesome that you've been so loving and thoughtful about all of this, it just comes off as super entitled and unfair of him to put the responsibility for making things ok on you when he's the one who done screwed up.

He needs to realize that in all of his fears about you pushing her away he might well end up pushing YOU away if he doesn't show more care and compassion! Doesn't he realize that you are giving him an incredible gift by being open-minded about this, and that he is risking that gift by giving you a harder time than necessary?

Not wanting them to have sex in your home is a perfectly reasonable boundary at this stage and he darn well better respect it!

Forgive my righteous indignation. I'm really happy to hear you're feeling better and I think this will probably work out just fine... I just hate to think of what could be a great outcome for everyone getting screwed up because one person isn't showing the necessary sensitivity and patience. Kudos to the "other woman" for respecting your feelings and your marriage in the way they deserve!
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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