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Old 04-27-2012, 06:59 AM
km34 km34 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 624
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1) Define "polyamory" in a sentence or phrase.

Polyamory, to me, is the ability to have more than one romantic love simultaneously. It also includes being honest about this.

2) Give us a quick snapshot of yourself. Whatever you want to share in a few sentences, including whether or not you ID as poly.

Recent college grad, bi, poly but I rarely fall in love. Happy homemaker.

3) How many partners/lovers do you currently have if any? Tell us their names/pseudonyms and one or two things about them, including their role in your life (occasional fuckbuddy, spouse, romantic-but-not-sexual LDR, etc) and whether or not they have any contact or relationship with each other. Have you ever had more partners at a time than you have now?

I have one partner. Keith is my husband. I have had a boyfriend-without-using-labels and a woman that I was interested in but both of us took time to take that step since being married. It didn't work out with the guy though we were highly compatible both personality wise and sexually, we were not relationship compatible. I ended up dating the female interest a few months after I had ended it with the guy which then fizzled when the dynamic changed from purely friends who have amazing sex to "being in a relationship."

4) Do you have an "ideal" poly configuration? If so, what is it? If not, why not (haven't figured it out yet, don't believe in "ideal configurations", etc.)?

I don't have an ideal. I really think that having expectations for something makes people miss out on great things. I would love to find additional partner(s) who could be incorporated into my household (I love big families).

5) Are you out about the role of poly in your life all of the time, some of the time, or none of the time? If some of the time, when? Are you satisfied with your level of outness?

Some of the time... I'm pretty out with new people since I no longer live in my home state. My sister kind of knows - we've never explicitly talked about it, but she spent a LOT of time with me and my ex gf and has made poly comments, so she knows. lol

I would love to be able to tell everyone, but I really don't see the point in dealing with it until/unless I have a person that I want to bring home to the family. Both my family and my husband's won't approve (at least at first), so.. Yeah. It works.

6) Do you think that some ways of having relationships are inherently better or worse than others (poly vs mono, heirarchical poly vs egalitarian poly, etc)? If so, why?

I don't. If it works for you, it's the best way for you. I generally don't like hierarchy, but as long as it is practical hierarchy ("X is my primary because we live together and have kids. Y is my secondary because we only see each other 3 days a week.") and not emotional hierarchy ("I am married to X, so I love him more. Y is my secondary and if X ever feels threatened by my relationship with Y, I will drop Y immediately."), I think it's a great way to explain various relationship levels.

7) What are the best things about poly to you? What are the worst things?

Best - Not having to be afraid to feel natural emotions and let things progress organically.
Worst - The social stigma and the idea that many have that because someone identifies as poly he/she is looking to sleep with many people very soon.

8) Could you ever see yourself being happily monogamous?

Yep. I rarely feel like I could fall in love with other people. I've only felt true, romantic love for 2 people in my 22 years. One was in middle/high school, the other is my husband. I've felt the "like like" feeling more often, but it rarely leads to love.

9) Would you recommend poly to others who may not have considered it? How about to your kids if you have any now or ever end up having any?

I don't think I would necessarily recommend it unless I see signs that it would be a good fit for someone. I would definitely educate people so they can make informed choices. If I end up having a kid, he/she will definitely know that monogamy is not the only option.

10) Free space! Either leave blank or write anything else you want to say or anything you want to ask future quiz-takers!

I have a hard time with labeling myself as poly. I know I would be/am capable of loving more than one person at a time, but I honestly don't think it is likely to ever actually occur. I like the general premise, though, so I use the label so that people who haven't heard of it will think about it.
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